If you want to get something done, don't ask a pre-schooler to do it.
Duh.
If that isn't a saying by now, it should be.
And yet even as I write this, we've come triumphantly to a *very* small victory with my daughter this week. She cleaned her room. (With almost constant direction and cheer-leading from Mommy and Daddy.)
Slowly, agonizingly and with constant distraction, she has been working away at learning to put everything in the proper place, and in doing so she's learned the value in putting things away after she uses them instead of having 15 or 20 different toys spread all over her room.
And now, her room will never be messy again, she's just polished our hardwoods, and she'll remember to thank her Mommy and Daddy during her acceptance speech at the Academy Awards for teaching her that 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness'.
And I've just won the lottery.
But, seriously ... I think this is a step in the right direction.
Over the last few weeks I've noticed a change in her, and it is presenting all kinds of new challenges. Sure, children are changing all the time, but I think we're going through one of the big, monumental shifts in the way she thinks, reasons and behaves. It's a new life stage. This happens when children move from adolescence to the teen years, or from teen to young adult.
I've made it through the shift from baby to toddler, and now I'm already saying 'goodbye' to being the mom of a toddler. Instead I am spending my days with a full-fledged, tantrum-throwing, joke-telling, tiara-wearing little girl.
She's now a child who wants to assert her independence, who likes to play pretend, who is developing 'selective hearing' at an alarming rate, and who likes things on her terms, and at her speed. It's fascinating to watch.
Her desire for control is going to mean that I need to start learning to give up some of my own. Easier said than done. I may or may not be a bit of a 'control freak'.
Cleaning her room has been a week-long task, and I could have had it done in an hour. The amazing thing about her having accomplished this huge task (with much help and guidance), is that her room is still clean. I can guarantee that if I'd cleaned it myself, it would already be messy again.
Don't get me wrong, I don't expect her room to never be messy again, but I DO know that she's felt a sense of accomplishment and pride in completing this job herself. (More or less.)
My pride as a mommy used to come from taking excellent care of my daughter - always having her dressed nicely, having her room clean and her toys away, and making sure that her every need was met. I've realized that my sense of 'mommy accomplishment' is going to come from a new place now. My pride is now directly related to her triumphs of independence, and to her growing into her abilities and strengths, and discovering herself.
We'll both need to feel out this new stage. She needs to know that I'm there to support her when she really does need my help, and I need to come to terms with the fact that it is OK for it to take a week to clean a room, or 20 minutes to get dressed, or FOREVER to get a dress on a Barbie Doll.
What an amazing gift it is, to have the chance to spend this time with her, and see her develop into a young lady. Her personality is changing and growing before my eyes, and I can hardly wait for tomorrow.
And here's hoping that tomorrow will mark the beginning of her lifelong fascination with dusting .....
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